While it may have been harmless in the beginning, the drinking has created more mental instability and stressful issues in life. Functioning alcoholics are always on edge because they’re keeping a secret from the world, which is that they have a problem with alcohol. When living with a functioning alcoholic, you’ll notice that if they have a problem, they won’t talk it out. They will hide out and drink by themselves because this has become the only way to deal with problems. Dealing with stress and celebrating with events can’t be done without drinking and this is an indication that your partner is an alcoholic. Your partner isn’t going to believe you even if you confront them with the proof.

In short, denial is likely to occur on both sides of your marriage. Depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia are https://stylevanity.com/2023/07/top-5-questions-to-ask-yourself-when-choosing-sober-house.html all common in people with AUDs. He refused to acknowledge that he had a problem and, no matter how much I begged, he wouldn’t seek help.

The Experience Blog

Living with an alcoholic who seems functional may seem normal on the outside, but there are underlying dangers that can cause a lot of pain and destruction. If you are in a relationship with a high functioning alcoholic, you are probably already in pain. It’s difficult as you watch the person you love suffering in silence because of their disease. It’s likely never talked about and you keep quiet because you think you’re helping. Whether you’re dating a functioning alcoholic or married with children, there are steps you can take to help the one you love. Functional alcoholics may be high performers in certain areas of their life, but the reality of the situation is much grimmer.

There are four basic types of addiction treatment programs, varying in intensity. Additionally, functional alcoholics may choose to drink alone to hide their drinking habits from others. Additionally, high-functioning alcoholics may struggle with binge drinking, or drinking to the point where blood alcohol content reaches .08 or higher. While in social settings, the high-functioning alcoholic could be outgoing and gregarious, but behind closed doors they simply want to be, and drink, alone. When they’re not engaged in their “social responsibilities” such as work or parties, they spend their time holed-up in a bar, or quietly drinking at their home.

Dealing with an Alcoholic Roommate

This will only impede your ability to communicate and can result in frustration instead of understanding. On the other hand, if your husband or wife is hungover, remorseful, etc., it might be a good time to talk about the negative consequences of their drinking. When you’re married to someone with an AUD, your relationship will often come second to their relationship with alcohol. Emotional connections can be difficult because communication about your spouse’s alcohol is either implicitly or explicitly not allowed. AUDs could lead your partner to lie or fight with you about their use, and your sex life could also suffer. Being patient with yourself and open-minded to the symptoms of an AUD can help you face the truth.

Is it possible to stay married to an alcoholic?

If you want to know how to stay married to an alcoholic professional help is essential. If the professional has a great background and training, they will tell you the very same thing I'm telling you right now: if you don't set boundaries and consequences nothing will ever change.

Healthy people set boundaries in their life and can stick to them. Finding the support that works for you is the best way to support your functioning alcoholic or addict spouse. A popular way that the loved ones of an addict or alcoholic get help is through programs like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon that are for the loved ones of people with substance use disorders.

Next Steps

A professional addiction intervention can help the alcohol user take ownership of some of the problems they have been blaming others for. The first and most difficult step in the long-term recovery process is for them to admit they have a problem. Anytime a substance user moves from the precontemplation to the contemplation stage is a victory. In simple terms, precontemplation is not being aware there is a problem, and the contemplation stage is being aware there is a problem. If your friend’s family is not available or willing to help or acknowledge the addiction situation, it should not prevent you from setting boundaries, holding them accountable, and protecting yourself. A family addiction interventionist can help in these situations by offering both a consultation that involves family, friends, and roommates.

A therapist works as a mental health guide and can give you alternatives for coping with stress. Changing your environment can be key in treating alcohol addiction. Often it is very difficult to get sober on your own, especially if you primarily drank at home. Spending time in a residential facility allows you to explore your relationship through the guidance of trained professionals.